I'm thinking of starting up this blog again.  Maybe.  Probably. For all intents and purposes, yes. 

I took an extended leave of absence these past 4 months for family visits, friend visits, vacations... and time to ponder the narcissism of this whole blog thing.  I was having conflicting thoughts about the whole "me" culture and how it has been exploited to the point of nonsense.  But I'm okay with that now, am actually comfortable with it.  Facebook and status updates have made me realize just how much I missed blogging, and how much I do actually need to focus on myself once in a while.

And don't think I forgot about the redesign. I'm working on it. Still. I have so many ideas, so much creative energy, but neither the talent or time to implement them all. Needless to say, the chance to design something new was one of the first reasons I decided to keep writing on Knee Deep in Life. I'm such a nerd.

Well, I know I haven't posted much lately. There are really two reasons for that. First, I've been a little apathetic about writing posts. I'm already writing ones for our family blog, and by the time I get to this one, I just don't have the steam anymore. And second, we've been a little busy...

A few weeks ago, Bill and I were notified that we'd made it through the final level of approval to be featured on the show Designed to Sell. Our show will be shot in December (exact date TBD), and will probably air in 2009.

We got into this thanks to a friend from my mom's group. Her realtor just started working with the show, and had mentioned that she needed homes in the Atlanta area to submit to the producers. My friend mentioned ours. We've told people of our plans to move in 2009, before Maddie begins school in the Fall, so my friend thought the timing and our house would work out well for the show. She hooked us up with the realtor, to whom I submitted pictures of our family and of the house. The realtor then submitted these to the producers, who eventually called us for an interview. The interview happened in early February. Bill was able to leave work for a few hours so we could sit down and talk to the producer of the show.

After the interview, we were fairly confident we were NOT going to get picked. The producer let us know several times that they were looking for diversity--both in the couples and in the houses. And Bill and I are hardly examples of diversity. We're as white middle class as you can get. Our house isn't all that unique, either. It's a three-bedroom, two-bath ranch with EXACTLY the same exterior and floorplan as almost all of the homes in our neighborhood. Add in the fact that the girls wouldn't leave us (or this poor producer) alone, and I figured we'd never hear from her again. I was wrong.

It's exciting to get chosen for the show, but we're mostly excited because the timing will work out so well. At first, Bill wasn't so happy that I'd submitted us. He thought we'd be obligated to sell as soon as they did the makeover, and that it would probably happen this Spring. And we just aren't ready to sell (or buy a new house) right now. But we can be much more ready by December. We also found out there's no obligation, just opportunity. Homes are obviously made more sellable by the makeover, and also by the fact that they have an open house as part of the show. This open house will get more walk-throughs thanks to the fact that these people (and the house) will be on TV. But if it doesn't sell, even after all of that, it's no problem. The producers shoot two different endings while they have us. One states that the homeowners quickly sold the house, while the other optimistically states that it's still on the market, but with renewed interest. So their bases are covered, either way. And our obligation to them ends as soon as the show's in the can.

The way the show works is that they'll choose three rooms to renovate, with an eye on doing the most work for the least money and raising the value of the house as much as possible. They've hinted that they may do our master bedroom, a bathroom and our sun porch, but that may all change once the designers visit. All of the work they do will be free to us, but we will be responsible to pay taxes on the total value of the job. They usually end up claiming the work to be worth $5000-$6000, which is what we'd owe taxes on, but the actual value is worth much more since they get all supplies at cost and don't charge for labor at all. And even paying taxes on that won't be such a big deal. After all, we were already planning to use our 2009 tax check almost exclusively for home repairs. So if we get those same repairs cheaper and better, and pay from the same source, it all works out.

Here's how the timeline for the shoot will work: The crew will pay us a visit on a Monday, a week before the shoot begins. At that time, the designers will take pictures and measurements and will decide exactly which spaces they can help. They'll then get the rest of that week to plan, purchase and make arrangements, while we're given some homework to do. The homework may involve moving furniture, taking things off walls, cleaning, etc. Basically getting ready for the work and camera crews to come in. Then, on the next Tuesday, the team returns to the house and begins working/filming. We were told that we won't be very involved with the actual work because while the pros are doing their thing, we'll be shooting our interviews and the B-roll footage that will be used throughout the show. On Friday, the open house will take place, and the whole thing will be over. One week for a three-room makeover and a full episode of the show.

We've been told that we can go ahead and sleep at the house every night during the production, even if they do our bedroom. But we've also been told that we'd need to put the dog somewhere else and also find a sitter for the kids for every day after they shoot the initial intro. So we're hoping my mom and sister can take both the kids and dog for the week. Bill will probably still work much of the week--they only need us in short bursts every now and then--and I'll probably end up hanging out at Barnes & Noble quite a bit. But we want to make sure that when they do need us, we're not frantically trying to find someone to watch Maddie and Josie.

Anyway, that's just a little bit of what's been keeping me busy. I'll post more information once we have a time and date (they said they'll probably contact us again in September.) Until then, feel free to check out HGTV's site for the show, and to watch a few episodes.Yes,

I hit myself in the head with a hammer.

Yes, you read that correctly. As if the past few weeks of illness weren't enough, last week I went and cut a small, but very deep, gash in the side of my nose. I'm incredibly lucky that I didn't get my eye.

How did I do it? Well, this takes extreme talent. I was removing a nail from the wall. A nail that was about 3 feet above my head. A nail stuck not only in drywall, but also a little in the brick behind it. A nail that required extreme strength and pressure on the hammer to remove. Well, of course the nail finally came out, and so did the hammer... with a lot of force. The hammer hit me, I fell backwards off the futon (which I was using as my ladder - brilliant idea) and things went black for about 3 seconds. Then I sat up, grabbed my nose (which hurt like hell) and checked to see that it wasn't broken. It wasn't, but I pulled my hands away and saw blood everywhere. This little gash in my nose took a lot of effort to stop bleeding. It's pretty deep, too, but eventually I got the bleeding to stop so I assume I didn't need stitches.

It's been almost two weeks now and I still have a cut there. I'm pretty sure there's going to be a scar. Luckily, and oddly, it didn't bruise at all. I fully expected to have a black eye or bruised nose a couple of days later. Instead, the bridge of my nose is just still really sore.

Yep, I'm a genius. Any wonderfully dumb injury stories you want to share?

In the spirit of Loralee's Diet Coke abstinence, I have to remark that I have almost completely dropped my Coke (-a-Cola) habit of many years. I haven't had one since I first got sick a few weeks ago. At that time I couldn't keep anything down, much less soda, so I didn't have a choice there. After that, it just seemed like I was on a roll and should keep it up. I'd think about having one, about that swoosh fizz sound when you first open a can, the burning carbonation of that first sip... anyway, I just didn't want to start up again. Being forced to quit for a while got me started and since I have no willpower anyway, it seemed like a good idea to use that as my starting point.

Okay, I did break down earlier this week. I'd had a really really really stressful day and suddenly Coke popped into my mind and I could not get it out. So I made an emergency stop at the gas station and got one. Swoosh. Fizz. Gulp.

And nothing. First sip was kind of nice, with the carbonation and all, but every subsequent sip was just too icky sweet. I can't believe I'm writing this, but I ended up putting the thing in my fridge (just in case I would want it later) and haven't really bothered it. Today I threw it out. I can't believe it, but I think I may have just lost my taste for Coke. Okay, I'm not going that far, but at least it won't be my breakfast and lunch anymore. Also, and this is another reason I'm happy to be rid of it, I feel less bloated. My pants are fitting a little bit better. And my 4pm headaches are all but gone. (Though, oddly enough, I did get a horrible one right after drinking those sips the other day.)

So, Loralee, if you're reading this, I'll do my best to stay on the wagon if you will.

I met some old friends for lunch the other day. We all used to work together, and we make an effort to still meet up at least 2 or 3 times a year. As opposed to my current group of acquaintances, these two women are at very different stages in each of their lives. I'm usually around mothers of small children, so my insight into other people's lives is limited to one genre. Getting together with these women allowed me to see what else was going on in the world out there. Even I didn't understand how limited my view was until that lunch.

One of my friends asks, So, how are you doing, Alecia?

I proceeded to tell them how the girls are doing, what kinds of activities we participate in now, how it's nice to have Bill home for so many days this holiday season, and the like. (I can never think of anything to say when people I don't see often ask how I'm doing. I feel like saying, well, you should see me in my day-to-day routine, or just read one of my blogs.)

So I get done saying all this and my friend comments on the things I've said, and then she says,

Okay, but how are YOU doing?

Um, uh, didn't I just tell you? And then it hit me that I'd talked about how everyone in my life was faring except for myself. But my family is my life. My days revolve around taking care of them and spending my time with them. I stammered a little and tried to come up with something to say.

Well, I joined a bunco club, and I, uh, have been thinking a little about what career I'd like to have once the girls start school, and, uh...

{shrug}

And here I thought I was reaching a good point where I was finding myself again. I guess it's easy to fall back into the role of "___'s mommy" when you're not looking.

But what else can I say? Am I supposed to feel bad that raising these two little human beings is my life right now? I don't work outside the home. These little guys are my work right now. The same way that my friends were commenting on the challenges and successes of their jobs, I was commenting on my job. It just so happens that my job and my personal life are inexplicably intertwined right now.

And thinking about it now, I'm still at a loss for what to say in answer to that question. The interesting thing is, I'm not sure I'm overly concerned about it. On one hand, I realize that I need to expand the breadth of my experiences, become a little more multi-faceted. On the other, I'm not sure if there's time or motivation to do much more than what I'm doing now, than what is making me happy right now.

Sure, there are lots of things I would like to do, lots of future goals I'd like to accomplish. I'd love to volunteer more, but it's something that I think will come in time as the girls get older and can share that experience with me. A preschooler and a toddler don't exactly have the patience and ambition to help others -- I'm lucky to get them to help clean up their toys at the end of the day. I do have dreams about future careers, but they are things that I don't want to do right now. I know that I'll have plenty of time to tackle them in the future. I do want it all, just not at the same time. Otherwise, I'm pretty happy. How many others can say that?

A wise mother learns each day
from quiet listening.
Her parenting springs from her
children's changing needs.

An average mother hears the
lessons but wonders how to be,
and forgets what she learns.
She is often filled with guilt and
is indecisive and irritable.

A foolish mother dismisses
what her soul hears in favor of
what the experts tell her.
She is rigid and controlling,
boastful and full of fear.

The best parenting springs from
simple love. The wise attune
themselves to a child's true need
and steadfastly follow it. Thus,
they cannot be called "permissive"
or "harsh."

What is right for each child
may not be right for all children.
What is right cannot always be
proven in a laboratory.

-from The Tao of Motherhood

I have made two great discoveries in the past few months. These aren't your run-of-the-mill discoveries either. Oh no. Christopher Columbus had nothing on this.

#1. Kroger. The grocery store. But not just any Kroger. The Kroger located in Marietta, GA, that provides free childcare while you shop. True? You better believe it.

Now, we have a Kroger only about 2 miles from our house, but guess where I've gone for my grocery shopping the past month or so? Yep, I've driven 12 miles away to the one in the suburbs. It's the only one I've ever heard of, but the store has a childcare center inside where you can check your kids in (must be potty-trained) and shop for two hours. There are TVs located throughout the store with video feed into the area so you can watch your kids playing too. Once you're done with your shopping, you stop back by to pick up the kids, at which time they give them each a balloon and cookie. How awesome is that???? Maddie and Josie have been begging me to let them go to the grocery store each week.

I couldn't quite understand how this worked, so I asked Miss Gwen (the childcare director) that first day we went.

So how does this work? Is there a monthly fee? No, it's free.
Do I need to be a Kroger Card Member? (I am, but I wanted to know otherwise) No, you don't have to be.
So are the prices higher here? I haven't noticed any difference in these compared to the other stores, so am I missing something? No, they just offer this service. I'm not sure how, but all I know is that they pay me a salary to do this. It's great, isn't it?

It sure is! The couple of times I have gone have really changed the way I grocery shop. Before, I'd take the girls with me during the day, but there would inevitably be bathroom breaks (once we were on the complete opposite side of the store) and eventually whining and getting antsy and pulling things off the shelves and putting them in the cart (later wondering why our bill came to $100 for only a few basics, and why did I get 6 bags of marshmallows?...) That became more hassle than necessary so Bill or I would shop late at night after the girls were in bed. I actually didn't mind my 11pm grocery store trips. No crowds. Now, though, I go during the day and take my time, read the labels on everything, stop to browse through the magazines, you name it. Now if only the stores near us would catch on to this as well. I guess there is something to be said for living in the 'burbs.

#2. As if that weren't enough, there's more goodness. I've recently discovered a place called Coffee Park (close to above grocery store). What is it? It's a coffeehouse... and an indoor playground. Yeah? Yeah? You gettin' me? You can go and check your kids in (ages 9 months to 5 years) and let them play in an indoor play area, enclosed by glass, while you sip your coffee and read your book. It's supervised play too, and the girls who work inside are great and really interact with the kids. The play area isn't too shabby. There's a little play kitchen area, a "garden" with plastic vegetables, a puppet theater, a gigantic slide and climbing gym, dollhouse, dress-up clothes, a train table, a giant racetrack rug with cars and trucks, building blocks, babydolls, and more. There's also a separate area for the 9-24 month olds, with baby toys and a gate so the bigger kids can't get in (or the little ones out). I met my friends Carolyn and Angel there last week and we had the best time chatting while our kids played. Now that the weather has turned colder, I have a feeling we'll be there at least once a week. The best part is the price. It's only $5 per kid, with only $1 more for additional siblings. Total for 4 hours of playtime: $6 plus the cost of my caramel latte.

The shop is owned by one of the moms from my mommies group and it's brilliant. It's nice and relaxing, and not at all like those indoor inflatable jumpy-thing places. Don't get me wrong -- those places are great and they really prime the kids for a good nap after they've been jumping around for a while, but they're also pretty stressful. I find myself constantly chasing around both girls, trying to help them climb into whatever bouncy thing they want, while simultaneously trying to make sure they each don't get trampled on by bigger kids. Inevitably, they have fun until one of them gets bumped a little too hard and then crying ensues and we end up leaving. I'm not the overprotective mother type, and my kids aren't wussies -- they're just small little girls who aren't used to rough-housing in the form of 10 year old boys. It's enough to bring on small heart attacks.

The idea of making someplace kid-friendly is absolutely genius, even when it's the most basic of places (clowns juggling while I pump my gas, a magic show at the post office, the possibilities are endless.) I encourage all businesses to consider this. If you do make changes like this, I promise to not only shop at your store (daily), but I'll also bring at least 3 other moms with me each time I visit. How's that for incentive?