January 2008 Archives
January 24, 2008
Today is the worst day of the year
January 23, 2008
Ugh
I seem to have caught the same suckety-suck-suckedness that plagued Loralee and Holli a few weeks ago. Oh, you poor dears. I had no idea. I feel like absolute and utter crap. (Should that be capitalized, because it feels like it should be.) Last night there were actually times that I just wanted to cry because my ears and throat and chest hurt so bad. It's been a long time since I felt that way.
The good thing is that I'm heading out to my mom's this weekend. I'm hoping she and my sister will be more than happy to take care of the girls while I pass out in the guest bedroom. The two-hour drive there will suck, but it will be worth it to have my Mommy take care of me. (OMG, did I just write that? I do feel awful. I don't think I ever called her "Mommy" when I was a kid.)
Oh, and in case you're wondering, I'm sure Bill would be more than obliging to help, but he's headed to LA this weekend to work the red carpet at the SAG Awards. Uh huh. How cool is that? You probably won't see him since he'll be doing more work behind the scenes, but I've Tivo'd everything related to SAG anyway. He also gets the chance to attend the party afterwards. Yes, I'm sending him with a list of autographs to get. Anyone I should add to the list?
PS. Join me next week when I recount how my kids have now caught whatever sickness is going around and Josie spends most of her 3-year birthday party lying on the couch watching "My Little Pony" movies. Hurrah! Seriously, though, is there anything I can do to help prevent them getting sick?
January 14, 2008
How are you?
I met some old friends for lunch the other day. We all used to work together, and we make an effort to still meet up at least 2 or 3 times a year. As opposed to my current group of acquaintances, these two women are at very different stages in each of their lives. I'm usually around mothers of small children, so my insight into other people's lives is limited to one genre. Getting together with these women allowed me to see what else was going on in the world out there. Even I didn't understand how limited my view was until that lunch.
One of my friends asks, So, how are you doing, Alecia?
I proceeded to tell them how the girls are doing, what kinds of activities we participate in now, how it's nice to have Bill home for so many days this holiday season, and the like. (I can never think of anything to say when people I don't see often ask how I'm doing. I feel like saying, well, you should see me in my day-to-day routine, or just read one of my blogs.)
So I get done saying all this and my friend comments on the things I've said, and then she says,
Okay, but how are YOU doing?
Um, uh, didn't I just tell you? And then it hit me that I'd talked about how everyone in my life was faring except for myself. But my family is my life. My days revolve around taking care of them and spending my time with them. I stammered a little and tried to come up with something to say.
Well, I joined a bunco club, and I, uh, have been thinking a little about what career I'd like to have once the girls start school, and, uh...
{shrug}
And here I thought I was reaching a good point where I was finding myself again. I guess it's easy to fall back into the role of "___'s mommy" when you're not looking.
But what else can I say? Am I supposed to feel bad that raising these two little human beings is my life right now? I don't work outside the home. These little guys are my work right now. The same way that my friends were commenting on the challenges and successes of their jobs, I was commenting on my job. It just so happens that my job and my personal life are inexplicably intertwined right now.
And thinking about it now, I'm still at a loss for what to say in answer to that question. The interesting thing is, I'm not sure I'm overly concerned about it. On one hand, I realize that I need to expand the breadth of my experiences, become a little more multi-faceted. On the other, I'm not sure if there's time or motivation to do much more than what I'm doing now, than what is making me happy right now.
Sure, there are lots of things I would like to do, lots of future goals I'd like to accomplish. I'd love to volunteer more, but it's something that I think will come in time as the girls get older and can share that experience with me. A preschooler and a toddler don't exactly have the patience and ambition to help others -- I'm lucky to get them to help clean up their toys at the end of the day. I do have dreams about future careers, but they are things that I don't want to do right now. I know that I'll have plenty of time to tackle them in the future. I do want it all, just not at the same time. Otherwise, I'm pretty happy. How many others can say that?
