And how was YOUR week?

So I had laparoscopic surgery on Wednesday. I've had some abdominal pain since Christmas. It comes and goes and had gotten much worse in the past few weeks. CT Scan found a "mass". Ultrasound saw no ovarian cysts. Maybe scar tissue from my c-sections? Time to go in with a laparoscope and see what's in there.

It turns out it's endometriosis. Thanks to this surgery, there should be no more pain for at least the next 5-10 years. Then, from what I understand, it's bound to return.

I found out in the process of all of this that nearly every female on my mother's side of the family suffers from endometriosis and/or fibroid tumors and has had a hysterectomy. Needless to say, that info put me into a little tailspin about the future of my babymaking. It would be a far stretch for me to have had that happen with my surgery (though I was told that removing one ovary might be a result) but that didn't stop be from being in shock with the news about my family's genetic "gifts". Suddenly, I was thinking Do I really want another baby? I'm not sure, I mean, probably, but I don't want that decision taken away from me. I had a little freak out moment the night before the surgery, which completely baffled Bill. He saw the reality of all of it and I was looking at it emotionally.

Things turned out fine. The surgery itself was definitely an experience. After having two c-sections, I assumed a little incision in my belly button wouldn't be much of a deal. It took place at an outpatient surgery center, so it couldn't be too bad. Well, recovery is, and has been, different than I imagined. I went through moments of basically sleeping most of the day for about two days to feeling really tired and worn out (still am) to just ugh. It's definitely not like a c-section (and there's no prize - ie. baby). For one, I have four incisions instead of one big one. Not centralized, but kind of spread out across my lower abdomen. I'm still wondering if the combo of them all will be more like a smiley face or a Picasso face or something. Also, I didn't anticipate the gas pains. No, not the kind you get after eating baked beans... the kind you get after they pump your abdominal cavity full of carbon dioxide so they can create space to move around. The gas doesn't really have a direct exit out since it's just around your organs so it slowly seeps out of your body over the next couple of days. The results: weird chest and shoulder pains that make you feel like you're having a heart attack.

And, the biggest difference of all between the two surgeries: My belly button. If you've read this, then you'll understand that I don't like my belly button being touched at all. Not even by myself. It immediately makes me nauseous and gives me the heebie jeebies. I'm serious. There's gagging involved.

Now imagine feeling this way and then having surgery through your belly button. I'm shivering just writing this. And starting to gag. Thank goodness for pain killers. I haven't done too badly without them, but I tried to be brave and not take any yesterday. I also tried to get out a little and go shopping with my mom and sister, both of whom came to help me with the girls the last week. What was I thinking? I didn't even get through the first store without nearly passing out and I immediately came home to pop a pill. I was starting to feel a pulling and stretching feeling in my belly button, not to mention the pain. Eeeewwwww.

I usually have a really high pain threshold so I'm not sure if this thing is really as painful as it feels or if it's just the idea of it being in my belly button that makes it worse. I will tell you, though, that changing the dressings each day is an absolute nightmare for me.

I'm lucky the surgery was done under general anesthesia rather than an epidural like my previous ones. I hadn't even counted to one and a half before I was completely out. I woke up in recovery, then fell asleep again, and remember only bits and pieces of the rest of the day and evening. I even think I talked on the phone to a couple of people, but I don't remember who or what I said. If I talked to you, I'm sorry. Hopefully I didn't embarrass you or myself.

I'm trying to take it easy today since yesterday's dose of reality. It's not easy, considering that I'm sitting on the couch looking around at all the things that need to be done. The doc said that I'd be back to normal in 2-3 days' time. "You could have the surgery on Friday and be back at work on Monday!" Um, yeah right. I could be back at work, but I'd be completely unproductive and curled up in the corner scowling at everyone. Just saying.

So that's what I've been up to the last couple of days. I didn't really feel like posting about my upcoming surgery beforehand, and well, the last few days haven't left me with much time or energy either. I look like I'm about 4 months pregnant, though. I've basically been wearing sweatpants and some of Bill's t-shirts (women's long t-shirts are great, but not if they're also skin-tight).

Still I'm thankful all is relatively well and that I had such great help with the girls. Seriously, my mom and sister came through in ways I'd never imagined and I am extremely grateful. I never could have gone through this without them. Thanks again, guys.