Self-Portrait Challenge: New Year Resolutions

Speak up. Say no. Be heard.

I'm a YES man. Or woman. I find it difficult to say no to anyone. Usually, it's because it really isn't that difficult for me to do whatever the person is asking. What's a little discomfort to help someone?

I used to be so shy in elementary and middle school that I would blush horribly whenever the teacher called on me in class. I seeked attention but I didn't want to put myself out there for fear of being ridiculed. I wanted the popular people to notice me. Want me to help you cheat on that test? Sure! You're talking to me!

Pathetic? Yes.

As I got older, I became a little less pathetic, but I still remained the "easy-going" person who would do anything you asked as long as I was able to. To some I might have been a pushover, but since it was my choice, and I truly believed I was doing good by helping, I didn't mind.

Now that I'm approaching 30, I feel a sudden influx of confidence in myself and what I do and say. I'm starting to feel just fine with saying no to something that I don't feel comfortable doing, or just don't want to do. I think, and hope, that I'll still be a generous person. I don't think that part of me is going to change (I hope not) but I do realize that I need to put not only my own, but my family's best interests at heart. And if that means I'm not able to do something that day -- attend ANOTHER birthday party or watch someone's kids or whatever -- I won't feel guilty. I'm fine with knowing that I won't be creating a difficult day for the ones I love most dearly. And that's all that matters to me right now. If I'm going to sacrifice myself for anyone, I want it to be for Bill and the girls first and foremost.