Family Tree

I got the latest Pottery Barn Kids catalog yesterday. Sigh. I saw this and immediately fell in love:

I have always been intrigued by family trees. I was especially inspired after I originally saw this years ago:

Despite the price, I would eventually like to frame something similar to the PBK one. I started daydreaming about getting photos together of Bill and I, the girls, the grandparents, the great-grandparents, etc. My mom's family has been traced all the way back to before the Civil War, where one of her ancestors fought alongside General Lee. (Not a proud moment, but moving on...) And then I thought about the picture I'd put in the spot for my father, and I came to a screeching halt.

I'm not sure what to put there. My biological father was out of the picture before my mom's pregnancy test even had a chance to turn blue. My stepdad, whom she married when I was two and who consequently legally adopted me, left our family about 10 years ago, denouncing me as his daughter as he walked out the door. (Actually, he snuck out the door while my mom was in the hospital, but moving on...) So, I'm stuck. Do I leave a question mark in that space? Do I just write the word "asshole?" (I'm really over it. Really. That's just the family nickname for him.) I really really want something like this, both for myself and for the girls. I think it would be something they would appreciate even more as they get older. But how do I explain it to them? My mom just remarried last year to a wonderful, kind, gentle soul, but he has kids and a family of his own and it doesn't seem right to just take his family and ancestors and just plop them into the absent space in ours.

I'm sure children who were adopted also face this, but honestly it has never occurred to me to even think about it until now. What should I do other than abandon the whole idea?